First Day of School

Tomorrow is another day that I dread every year (just like Mother’s Day, and kid-theme holidays).  It is the first day of school for kids. I understand this is an exciting time for kids, their parents and teachers that actually enjoy their jobs.  I was that kid years ago that loved the first day of school, I would plan my outfit, get excited about my school supplies and get so excited that I couldn’t sleep the night before.

Now this day brings on a completely different set of feelings. My heart aches as I drive through the three school zones on my way to work, seeing all of the kids and their parents documenting this important day.  Now with school media, my feeds are covered with cute pictures of excited/scared kids holding a sign saying first day of whatever grade they will begin.

While these pictures are adorable and something I would so enjoy as a parent, instead these pictures are like knives to my heart and nails on a chaulkboard.  A constant streaming reminder of a dream that has not come true.  So to all of my family, friends and acquaintances, I apologize for not liking your first day of school photo.  Not because I don’t like the photo, not because it isn’t adorable, but because as someone who struggles with unexplained infertility and the uncertainty of ever being a mom, it hurts way too much to see these photos…so excuse my hiatus …


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