Trying to be patient and find the positive…

I so feel like this dog this week…we are so close with our embryos waiting for us, yet so far away….

It has been a trying week to say the least with some disappointment we were not expecting.

So this past weekend, we went to the farmer’s market and a food truck rodeo.  These events which you would not think should bother me, always seem to get me choked up.  There are families everywhere with their little babies all snuggled in their carries and pregnant woman galore.  My wife and I sat down at a picnic table to eat a taco and of course there was this sweet lesbian couple with their beautiful little girl playing near us.  It just brought back all of my emotions of why not us, when will it be our turn.

Work has been incredibly busy so my stress level has increased.  I was nervous about having to cancel a business trip that I was suppose to go on early March due to our expected transfer.  My boss and management were more than understanding and found someone to go in my place, but I hate to feel like I am not doing my job because of our IVF schedule.

To make matters worst with that schedule, I reached out to our clinic’s IVF nurses to get an update on our schedule since our RE was going to discuss the plan with them after we talk two weeks ago.  Come to find out, I was confused. Here I was thinking that when CD1 came in the next week that I would be starting meds and we would be within the 40 day window of seeing our beautiful embryos again. NO! You are wrong, don’t collect $200, don’t pass go! The nurse explained to me that they want to do a saline sonogram around CD5-12 to make sure no scar tissue has developed since my transfer last year, and then they are going to repeat the endometrial injury and cervical dilation around CD25 since the one I had before Christmas would have no benefit now.  She also explained that they want to do these procedure BEFORE I start meds.  Here I was thinking that they would do this while I was on FET meds. So I will have these procedures done with my Feb cycle and then start meds in March if everything is good, and transfer will most likely be early April.

Needless to say I am a little disappointed because now I feel like we wasted a cycle after I came off stimulation meds last month. I also feel like crap because I cancelled that busy trip thinking our transfer would happen that week and now it is not.  We are trying to stay positive and busy, but it is really difficult.

This weekend we started a major declutter of the house that we will do over the next few weeks and then have a garage sale to hopefully get ready for baby. I am trying to take the additional forced time as a sign that we need to make room for a baby since we have never really made room previously, we always figured we would do it once we got a BFP.

What are others thoughts about preparing a baby room/buying things for a child before you are pregnant?


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