One step at a time…

So when we discussed IVF Round 2 with our RE over the summer, she said she wanted to try everything possible to make sure we get the positive results we are all hoping for in the end.  Just like a baby, we took our first baby steps to preparing my body yesterday. Our RE decided that she wanted us to undergo an endometrial biopsy.  Research has shown that by performing this procedure prior to IVF that it can create a pocket for the embryos to implant after the transfer.  

Research information on endometrial biopsies for IVF Endometrial Biopsy and IVF

The procedure went ok.  As she thought beforehand they had trouble getting the catheter through my cervix since the biopsy one is not flexible and my cervix is curvy.  So they weren’t able to pull out a piece of my endometrium like they wanted to, but they did do some scraping which will hopefully generate some pockets.   She also went ahead and dilated my cervix to prepare us for the transfer in a few weeks.

I am feeling ok today physically but I have found that emotionally I am feeling quite vulnerable.  As we prepare for this second round I find myself thinking about how we would have been weeks away or months away from meeting our peanut had our first round or FET been successful.

I thought I was doing pretty good until I found myself tearing up again today.  My wife is getting her haircut and I noticed that her stylish is looking a little plump.  The stylish proceeds to talk about her holiday plans and how she can’t drink and there is the confirmation.  Here is a woman that just got married not even 5 months ago and is already pregnant.  ugh! My wife apologized to me after we left and I told her I am not mad at her, just upset over the situation.  Her stylish was weary to tell my wife at her last appointment that she was pregnant because she knows what we have been through. Are we now the “eggshells couple”?

The holiday season brings so many mixed emotions because it is about family, new life and hope, which I feel like we are missing.  Don’t get me wrong, I know we are blessed for our family who loves and supports us as well as our extended family of friends that would do anything to help us change our situation.  However, it is hard not to feel the hurt over all the family Christmas cards, pregnancy/birth announcements, and kid/parent Christmas traditions that we do not get to participate in since we can’t get over our infertility hurdle.

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